Sorry for the long hiatus of nonposting. It’s summer and we camp. I try to enjoy this quality of life I have, which isn’t that much. Between having digestive issues, I also have breathing problems and now my hands are acting up again! What the Fuck, Life? I just don’t know what to do anymore. Yes this is going to be a bitchy post so if you don’t want to hear it, best close it now. You have been warned….
First let me say, lupus just sucks. It sucks the life out of me, joy and hope. Just when I think I am two steps ahead, it pushes me down the stairs. Just tired of fightingo and being ‘strong’. I made my dermi appointment at HFH for their clinical. My hands feel very painful and they are blistering. The fucking joys of lupus. Plus, it’s starting to go up my arms now. GREAT! I’m just tired of this. Just please stop and let me catch a break! Lately, I just want to sleep. Depression does that. Seriously want this all to end and I don’t care how it happens.
As I write this,I just feel less hopeful anyone can help. I don’t want to sound ungrateful for kind words but they really don’t help with pain. This will probably piss a lot of people off but it shakes my trust in God as well. I saw my dad suffer and it just makes me so angry and ever since he died, my faith has not been the same. Really cannot believe there is someone taking my burdens. Umm…hello? If that was true, take this damn flare. OOps…..still there. No such luck.
So here it is..to you life! *MIDDLE FINGER* You can suck it because I am done with all this bullshit.